Back in the day, way back, before new fangled smarty pants phones, if you wanted to end a fairly new relationship, you had to mostly do it in person, often with the phrase ‘it’s not you, it’s me’.
But as is its raison d’Ítre, technology has made that particular task so much easier, and there’s nothing easier than doing nothing. Ladies and gents we give you the act of ghosting.
It’s simple enough, if you haven’t already been the subject to it already yourself, it’s simply not returning or replying to messages or texts sent to your phone. As if, as the word suggests, you just disappeared.
Using this as a springboard for an action rom-com – and why not – is our old mucker himself Dexter Fletcher with his latest flick.
Helping out at a local farmer’s market is Cole (Chris Evans). It’s there that he meets Sadie (Ana de Armas), whom he instantly falls in love with, and then after a row, just as quickly falls out of love with.
He’s told that they had an undeniable sexual chemistry, so decides to give it another shot. And it actually works, with the pair spending the rest of the day – and night, together.
So that figure you can see up there on cloud nine is Cole. Having had such a great time, he texts Sadie. Which he follows up with another text. And another. And then a few emojis. But hears nothing back.
When he tells his family, his sister informs him that he was being too needy, and there’s a reason he hasn’t heard back from Sadie – she’s ghosted him.
His mum and dad are a little more forgiving, and say there’s bound to be a reason behind it. And it turns out there is, when Cole discovers she’s actually out of the country, in London.
He therefore decides to make a big romantic gesture, and jump on a plane to visit her there. Turns out it’s not exactly the best impulsive decision he’s made, as he’s mistaken for a CIA agent who goes by the name of The Taxman.
Before he knows it, he’s drugged and waking up in a foreign land, held captive in a cave. He’s being threatened with torture if he doesn’t reveal the pass code, but as he has no idea what they’re talking about, it’s looking likely he’s in for a world of pain.
Luckily for him, a masked operative saves him, who soon reveals her identity to be...Sadie. Obviously Cole has some questions for her, with why did she ghost him being right up there on the list. But time isn’t on their side for answers right now, as the world can be in serious danger with a weapon of mass destruction about to fall into very wrong hands.
This is yet another entry in Apple’s foray into producing original films, and it’s entertaining enough.
It certainly has appeal from its two attractive leads – who do make a lovely on screen couple – and both knowing their way around an action flick with Evan’s other identity being that of a certain Cap’n America, and de Armas appearing in the 2021 Bond flick No Time to Die.
But where it disappoints somewhat is with the script; it’s cumbersome in places, suffering from some pacing issues, as well as an identity crisis – is it a rom-com, is it an action adventure – and a storyline that is convoluted for what it is. These issues are all probably down to the fact that four writers are credited with the screenplay, which feels like three too many in this case, as there’s a sense that there was just a lot thrown at the wall to see what stuck – which was far too much, as it turns out.
It loses its way with Adrien Brody playing the dastardly foreign bad guy, after the macguffin, going by the name the Aztec device. It’s just too complicated and completely unnecessary, getting in the way of a fun and feisty relationship developing between the two leads.
Fletcher has seemingly come a long way in his relatively short directing career, with Rocketman certainly helping to make his name as a director truly take off. And he does well for the most part, despite the film’s unevenness. And its unnecessary length (nearly two hours), but he handles the action scenes with aplomb, especially its highly creative finale that takes place in a moving restaurant, which could well be his calling card for a Bond flick.
There are also a few Marvel-lous cameos that are completely superfluous, but are still cute regardless. That said, it does take you out of the world briefly, however light the mood is.
Although its stars make a great couple, it’s a tad generic, making it one of those films that if you did ignore, it wouldn’t be a great loss.