The Polar Express

PG

Robert Zemeckis is a one of those directors who embraces technology, as his latest film Here illustrates, taking place as it does in one spot on the planet over hundreds of years.

One particular area of technology that has fascinated him has been the use of motion capture in films, which he has utilised a number of times, with 2004’s The Polar Express being the first, which is being re-released on the big screen to celebrate its 20th anniversary, with its story of a young boy who is starting to lose belief in the magic of Christmas.

boom reviews The Polar Express
Of course it's safe to get on a train with a strange man...

It’s Christmas Eve and in one home the family is all ready for the day ahead, with both their children tucked up in bed. For young Billy (Peter Scolari) however, the big day isn’t what it once was, as he starts to suspect that Father Christmas doesn’t actually exist.

In the middle of the night however, a train pulls up outside his house, the Polar Express, and its conductor (Tom Hanks) invites him on board, with its final destination being the North Pole.

Billy joins a number of children already on the train as it takes off to its snowy destination, but is he actually going to meet Santa?

boom reviews The Polar Express
Don't get too close kid, he stinks of old ham.

Based on the 1985 children’s book of the same name by Chris Van Allsburg, Zemeckis’ film is supposed to be a literal journey for a young boy with the hope of believing in Christmas again. It used state of the art technology, making it the most expensive animated film at the time of its release. It was also listed in 2006’s Guinness Book of Records for being the first all-digital capture film. And although it may have impressed on the technical front at the time, it hasn’t aged particularly well.

The character designs are just on the wrong side of spooky looking now, with all the children looking like humanoids, with every one of them looking dead behind the eyes. And then there are the elves that feature, that are particularly frightening, all of which have faces of middle-aged white men whose names are probably Gary, making them the stuff of nightmares.

The film also has the sheen of a Christmas Coca Cola ad about it, which of course is no fault of its own, but don’t be surprised if you find yourself humming “the holidays are coming” in your head.

The visuals wouldn’t be so much of an issue if the story was engaging, but the reality is, it’s a very bland adventure, where very little happens. The US director tries to introduce as much peril as he possibly can aboard the steam train, but aimed at such a younger audience as it is, there’s never any real sense of any kind of threat. You’re more likely to get a sense of danger being on a tube train stuck briefly between stations than anything here.

On top of that, despite the ‘realistic’ animation, the film struggles with any of the characters having any kind of personality, which will no doubt make most audiences not care what happens to any of them, one way or another.

Considering how crowded the Christmas film space is, if you feel the need to get festive, you’re better off jumping on board a true classic like It’s a Wonderful Life than this chugging disappointment.

we give this two boom of five